July 24, 2006 | Where are the Daleks when you need them?

I’ve tried to get a MySpace account for the past two days now.

As I’ve expected, due to the comments I’ve heard about it, I have been unable to even get an account on MySpace. On Saturday, I tried three different times to get the captchas the load (captchas are those random letters and numbers that show up in an image, then you repeat them verbatim into a field, so as to basically tell the computers that you’re a human). After the issue was allegedly forwarded to technical support, the captchas were active — but there are even more problems. What they are or how they came into existance is beyond me. More than likely it is the horrible programming for the application that MySpace uses to generate its equally inferior websites.

Now, knowing my personal hatred of social networks, one may ask what drove me to even attempt to get a MySpace account.

I will tell you. I know people at work who have MySpace accounts.

I had, in a moment of insanity, thought that I would like to be assimiliated into the mindless drones, so as to be included in a hive-mind.

In fact, I will give you a list… for you to poop on. (By the way, these are people that I work with on a daily basis, or people that I used to work with.)

Current employees:

• www.myspace.com/k_ciccarelli
• www.myspace.com/plutoandlola200622
• www.myspace.com/pastorbenjamin
• www.myspace.com/nowimnothing1
• blog.myspace.com/zazima – Scratch that. Related to someone at work, though.
• www.myspace.com/tcsciontist
• www.myspace.com/steph03luva
• www.myspace.com/j13r
• www.myspace.com/schneeberg

Ex-employees

• www.myspace.com/tanyita_primal_princess
• www.myspace.com/betsiebarham
• www.myspace.com/farleftlane – a local Zero Beach band that has two members who were employees in my department, until they stopped showing up. Fuckheads. Exterminate!

God, I wish the Daleks existed… EX-TER-MIN-ATE!